This week I have mostly achieved....NOTHING

I dont really know what to say, or why Im writing. Just felt like I should.
I was ill with a vomiting bug Sunday evening and Monday so was off work. Then coz we have to be off 48 hours after the last episode of vomiting to prevent spreading it to the kids....I basically lied and pretended I was still vomiting Wednesday coz I couldnt face going to work.
I dont know what the hells wrong with me but I just feel so down, and the thought of going to work makes me all panicky and then I get to the point where I actually am sometimes physically sick coz I really dont want to go.
All Ive done this week is sit in my room and drink. How sad is that? Drinking alcohol in my room, on my own! Well I went to my mates Tuesday...and drank alcohol but thats hardly progress, same shit different venue.
I feel sick about going to work Monday already, but I also feel guilty for not going, and scared about what people will have been saying behind my back like they do when anybody else is off sick.
Ive been worrying so much about money this week and coz Ive been so stupid and sat in my room doing feck all Ive also missed the chance to do 2 nights of extra work which would have meant a little extra money in next months pay cheque coz Id have got paid overtime. I just cant snap out of it!
Ive been making myself sick like its going out of fashion. Even over the tiniest bit of food. I usually only do it after big meals or a binge but Ive just had 2 slices of toast and been sick and Ive done that with several other 'small' things.
Im just fed up, fed up, fed up.
I just dont know what to do anymore and I need to cry but I cant and I need a bloody hug!