I weighed myself almost as soon as I got out of bed this morning even though when I had gotten in bed last night, I had promised myself I wasnt going to. I had figured that it would just cause too much stress and that I would leave it until I couldnt possibly hold off stepping on the scales again and until then would try as much damage limitation as I could.
Then, this morning I woke up and seriously the first thought that popped into my head was 'I must get weighed'
It was like I was on auto pilot, I just went to the toilet [always do before I get weighed, Is this weird?] then walked robotically back to my room, got undressed [another weigh in ritual] and stepped onto the dreaded scales.
I almost didnt dare look at the numbers but then the voice in my head told me 'Go on then you fat cow, have a look at what you've done'......
3 FECKING POUNDS ON! FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT BITCH.
Im so angry with myself, I worked so hard to lose the 10lbs and then another 3lbs when I was ill and now just because I couldnt resist eating shitty christmas food thats laying around EVERYWHERE Im putting it back on. What an idiot.
To make matters worse, Im going for lunch with my brothers girlfriend today as its her birthday and I promised Id take her out. Then tomorrow Im meeting one of my best mates for lunch aswell and of course its bloody Christmas and the whole of this week will involve everyone stuffing there faces with food we shouldnt be.
Its not just the goose thats getting fat :(
Wish me luck with lunch today. The way Im feeling at the moment I just want to eat a massive portion of anything that may be on the menu and I also feel like getting totally drunk. This is my usual spiral into the depths of misery. I either buy shit loads of food, or a takeaway or get drunk and sit being a miserable fat cow.
Tis the season to be jolly fa la la la la, la la la la
xxx-Sam-xxx
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