Bloody alcohol!

Ok...I hate to start this thing off with a depressing post but thats what Im going to do!
I was planning to start this by describing when my eating problems started and whats happened since then etc but now Im just going to moan, moan, moan about my night last night!
I went out with some friends and actually had a really good night...then I saw the guy I fancy and was seeing for a little while [secretly as we were best mates though school so we didnt want anyone to know incase they thought it was weird...and I had a miscarriage to last year :(]
Ok so whats so bad about seeing a guy I fancy? Well after Id seen him, I started texting him to try and arrange to meet him later in the night but by the time Id plucked up the courage to text him, he'd gone home and was actually in bed.
But the drunken fat cow that I am, I carried on texting him saying stupid things to him and now Im so embarassed! If only you could see some of the things I text him, I need shooting in the head, Im so embarassing!

So by now you probably think Im being a drama queen but its really made me feel like shit. And now, all I want to do is eat, eat, eat and then pray to the toilet god that I know so well. The fact that Im starving through being hungover isnt helping either. I know at some point today I will end up having a massive binge session and then sick it all up but at the moment Im putting it off for as long as I can so I dont have to feel like the fat disgusting cow that I am.

God I hate myself

Welcome to my blog haha, what a happy place! xxx